It is seriously time to consider a move south. I realize it's hot. It is not just hot, it's damn hot. That is why we move slowly from air-conditioned homes to air-conditioned cars to air-conditioned offices and back. Man up, dude!
I realize it is Alabama. And, yes, we are usually at the bottom of every list except football - UA and AU, back-to-back national championships last two years. You have already picked a side so your common greeting would be Roll Tide! Plus, there are so many Republicans here one would think Dick Cheney was born here instead of where you live, especially in my county. I was told that when I moved to this county it brought the number of Democrats up to three.
There are really good public and private schools and programs in the neighborhoods where your wife and I would choose for you to live. I don't know about girls' tennis but I will do everything I can to find out, even if I have to visit every school and country club. We have cheap, cheap, cheaper real estate and tremendous restaurants. Even in my little suburb, I have quick access to authentic Vietnamese, Korean, Greek, Italian, Chinese, and Japanese food. There is also a sports bar called The Tilted Kilt where the waitresses dress like Catholic school girls. If you ever have to entertain colleagues who would be interested in that sort of thing then it would be less embarrassing than taking them to Hooters. Yes. I am willing to stoop that low by mentioning this.
Don't make me pull out the big guns. Remember I was raised a Baptist and they are champions of pro-guilt and pro-whine. So, I will leave you with four words: your first born daughter. One week at college and she has already met a cute boy. Plus, I'm fairly certain you do not want me planning entertainment for her and I will, you know.
Trust me. There is nothing better than making a choice that would make so many women so happy.
Love,
Your aunt in-law
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