It must be true. I heard it on the news.

This Letter to the Editor was published in The Tuscaloosa News on Sunday, October 31, 2010. I was initially puzzled by the editorial decision to publish it until I saw the name of who submitted it. There is an Ed Stephenson who is a biology professor at The University of Alabama so I sense this may have been his way to show people how incredibly lame some of these rumors sound. Stating "I heard it on the news" these days is about as credible as "I read it on the Internets".

America needs to wake up
Published: Sunday, October 31, 2010 at 3:30 a.m.
Last Modified: Saturday, October 30, 2010 at 11:59 p.m.

Dear Editor:

Nov. 2 will be the most important election in this country in over a thousand years! Our country is in a mess thanks to the know-nothing hat-wearing baby-hating money-worshipping break-dancing Democrats who were idiotically elected two years ago.


The coming of Obama, the anti-Christ, who is also a socialist atheist Muslim Hindu communist Marxist terrorist was prophesied in 1,437 passages in the Bible (Isa. 34:19, Rom. 7:9, Lov. 5:33, Vho. 7:10, Cth. 4:44, etc.).


Our schools have turned their backs on the biblical principles of public prayer and genocide and patricide and involuntary servitude and feminine subservience and unicorns and are required instead to indoctrinate students in algebra and maypoles and literature and witchcraft and lesbianism.


Thanks to Obamacare, your doctor is required to kill you if you do not have an insurance policy and must give you inoculations that will give you autism or spinal curvature or an itchy rash.


A bill in the Congress will ban the selling of pork and beans and crackers and gunpowder and bathtubs and will make us pray to Washington six times a day. We have to pay for their asinine projects like sending men to Mars and to Nevada and building pyramids on the ocean floor and studying whether dolphins can get AIDS.


Everyone who refuses to bow down before Obama the Great Nigerian Overlord will have a chip implanted in his brain. I heard all of this on the news. Get your head out of the sand America!


Ed Stephenson
Tuscaloosa