Sunday Reflections: Trust

Being accused of something and being unable to prove my innocence has been one of my greatest fears. With the availability of DNA testing, many in the prison system have been released and one state, Illinois, has halted the death penalty until this can be revisited. I heard a man speak in Nashville who was falsely accused and imprisoned, only to be released decades later. His humility, willingness to forgive, and commitment to help others avoid such ghastly scenarios was humanity at its best.

This week I had to prove my innocence in a work situation, not so much for them but for me. My integrity and intent, I believed, was in question. I was able to document an almost minute-by-minute work day, thanks to electronic devices. (I may never delete another text or email again!) After celebrating my victory with great relief, an overwhelming sadness came over me that I felt I had to do it at all. Have we become such a distrustful society that we can not draw positive conclusions about someone's character after knowing them for over a decade? Do adults have to monitor other adults as we did in elementary school?

The question remains - if we treat children with distrust, how do they learn to grow up to be trustworthy? If we distrust our coworkers, how can we expect to be trusted in return?

Trustworthiness is a moral value considered to be a virtue. A trustworthy person is someone in whom we can place our trust and rest assured that the trust will not be betrayed. A person can prove his trustworthiness by fulfilling an assigned responsibility - and as an extension of that, to not let down our expectations. The responsibility can be either material, such as delivering a mail package on time, or it can be a non-material such as keeping an important secret to himself. A trustworthy person is someone that we can put our worries and secrets into and know they won't come out. In order for one to trust another, their worth and integrity must be constantly proven over time. (Wikidictionary)

Dependability is a value showing the reliability of a person to others because of his/her integrity, truthfulness, and trustfulness, traits that can encourage someone to depend on him/her. (Wikidictionary)

After reflection, I realize that trustfulness is not just about not lying, stealing, cheating, or being able to keep a secret. On those things, I am steadfast. To receive trust, it must encompass dependability. Have I been accused in the past of being unreliable? Yes, most recently resulting in the loss of an important relationship in my life. One can not separate reliability and dependability from trustworthiness and expect to be trusted.

I suppose many people consider this obvious.  Sometimes one has to truly see the person staring back at them in the mirror to understand.